Living without the answers

Answers are elusive things. We might not realise it, but we all live with assumptions and view them as answers. For example, that money has worth, that there is such a ‘thing’ as the government, that we have a personal purpose. We live as if these things are true, when in fact they are not.

They are constructs that society and individuality have given us. They are fictions that we have built into the framework of our lives to ground us and enable us to function with direction. They form an axis that we can review to discover if we are making steps forwards or ‘not making it’ in the way we thought we would.

There is another thread that I want to pull further upon. I don’t think there are concrete answers to a lot of the God and supernatural questions that I work through on this blog and the podcast.

This will make both the atheist and Christian wince. They have answers that seem to make the best sense to them. But I can’t help thinking the uncertainty we honestly live in is far more honest than any self-confirmed set of beliefs. I’ve talked about it at length. Naturalism, Atheism, Materialism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism – these frameworks don’t provide enough answers to support their destinations (if you follow them through).

I want naturalism to be ‘true’, that the only thing we have is held within nature and there isn’t anything that ‘we’, humanity, can act on outside of the natural makeup we swim in each and every day. But if naturalism is true then reason and purpose are finite and bound within the network we have. For example, and I am taking this from John Lennox; if you picked up your computer are found out that it was brought about by a completely natural and at points random process, would you trust its ability to function, process and be reliable?

Yet we seem to have the ability to understand the universe. The fact that the universe is understandable is firstly insane, and then the fact that our brains have enough anchor points to work out the speed of light, or how gravity works in relation to massive bodies within space. Well, that’s also insane. But for naturalism to have given us these abilities, then they are going to be flawed, and our reason will be wrong in a lot of ways.

I am happy to admit I might be wrong on this, and there are a lot more books I want to read to investigate both the religious and non-religious views on these points. I don’t understand enough to have an informed opinion, rather I just notice these questions raise to the surface and can’t help but ask if they can honestly be answered within the framework we are locked within.

Does not having an answer mean one cannot reside within a worldview? This is a point Christians press more than atheists. They seem to want an agnostic to recognise that without a God based worldview then there are some bleak and troubling issues within the worldviews that outwork from a godless place. I understand this, but even within Christianity, you can’t provide definitive answers to so many massive subjects.

What does Hell really look like, if it exists?

What makes someone ‘in’ and someone else ‘out’ of Christianity?

What should the church look like? (Because it doesn’t match the vision Jesus talks about in the New Testament)

Can we ever really know that the Bible we have today is right in enough ways to trust the claims it makes?

Where is God in the suffering/evil/pain?

Sure, a Christian will have answers for these things. But a Catholic, Methodist and Charismatic Evangelical will all have answers that are different from each other. This is because no one knows, they all think they have hints, ideas and ‘truth’, but they do not.

If God was real, He could provide clear answers to these massive questions. So, does He just want people who believe in a ‘hope’ and make the best with their doubt? That was my position for a long time, but blind belief didn’t stack up. So, is it really my fault I doubted and lost this ‘faith’?

God could show us all that He is real and also give us the free will to reject Him. This would literally do what the Bible claims He has done. But God hasn’t shown that He is actually real, and we don’t have the free will talked about in the Bible, and we might possibly have no free will at all.

This is insane. People believe in such a variety of ‘God’ – even within Christianity. We all want our God to be the God that is real. We all think we have answers to these questions, but in reality, we are grasping at straws, determined to believe and encourage others in their faith because of the hope it grants in the darkness of life’s disasters. Funerals, suicides, loss and pain.

I don’t have answers. I have the scientific model, which is only possible due to the intelligibility of the universe, as mentioned above. But I don’t know which God, if any, made it intelligible.

This is making me really angry. I want to believe in God, as many of my posts have expressed recently. I think there are signs that something like a God could exist unless we can provide answers to some very hard to answer questions without a God.

But there is no proof such a God exists. I am living without answers, and I can’t help but think this will be the case for the rest of my days.


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